While 2023 was a much better year for films than the previous three, there were (as with any year) some bad films. It would be too easy to pick out the dreadful comic book films or bad comedies featuring the likes of Adam Sandler or any of his “crew”. Films of that ilk are low-hanging fruit.
To choose a list of the year’s worst pictures, one must focus on the films that should have been something but failed for one reason or another, and this year certainly had a few. These were works that showed promise, but dropped the ball, then picked it up, dropped it again, and smashed it to bits.
Listed alphabetically, here are my choices for the 10 worst films of 2023. These are the ones that coulda and shoulda, but didn’t.
CARMEN- Benjamin Millepied
A sloppy dance movie/musical without an ounce of interest or originality. Paul Mescal and Melissa Barrera are both terrible and find zero chemistry. The two play their roles like dumbbells who don’t seem to know how the world works. A stupid reimagining of Prosper Mérimée’s classic tale.
EXPEND4BLES- Scott Waugh
While not great, the third time was a charm for this solid action trilogy. This fourth film is an absolute travesty, existing as if directed by a 6 year old, yet a 6 year old would also find it dreadful.
Absolutely insulting garbage in every single second. I felt sorry for Stallone and even more sorry for the poor schlubs who paid their hard earned dollars for this rubbish. I was embarrassed to be watching it.
FINESTKIND- Brian Helgelend
A massive misfire from one of our finest screenwriters. The film is miscast beyond belief and some good actors flail around in search of something proper to work with. The unholy mess tries to be 6 or 7 different films at once and can never land on a proper tone. Some scenes are unbelievably atrocious, with much of the drama eliciting unwanted laughs. An embarrassingly awful pothole in Helgelend’s solid career.
HEART OF STONE– Tom Harper
The dictionary definition of ludicrous. A James Bond wannabe full of shaky-cam visuals and sloppy CGI. A boring series of images that becomes a pastiche of better films.
HIDDEN STRIKE– Scott Waugh
In his apparent quest to win the crown for worst living director, Waugh lands his second film on this list. Like his fourth “Expendables” movie, this one is a badly crafted preposterous piece of forgettable junk that wastes the legend that is Jackie Chan. One director. One year. Two films. Both garbage.
IT’S A WONDERFUL KNIFE– Tyler MacIntyre
90 minutes of ridiculousness and mediocrity made to please the modern generation of teens and twenty-somethings who need social issues dealt with in every corner of their entertainment. An eye-rolling and overly-PC yawn. Yet another nail in the coffin of horror films with an edge.
MAGGIE MOORE(S)- John Slattery
Slattery is a damn good actor. As a filmmaker, he has yet to prove he has “the stuff”. With this film, he proves he should hang it up and stay in front of the camera. A good cast flounders around and chokes on the dreadful dialogue as the film itself tries hard to be a comedy, but becomes staggeringly inept and massively unfunny.
QUIZ LADY- Jessica Yu
Another terrible comedy that doesn’t understand the genre. Awkwafina and Sandra Oh are big talents but drown in insipidly childish “comedic” moments that result in zero laughter. So dreadfully unfunny, the film made me angry regarding the myriad of ways it wasted these two talented actresses.
REBEL MOON: PART ONE- A CHILD OF FIRE– Zack Snyder
A dreary and dull motion picture from beginning to end. The battles are clumsily choreographed, the CGI ships look like a video game, and Snyder’s over-reliance on slow motion and lens flares becomes immediately tiresome and is nowhere near as cool-looking as he thinks.
A failure on mammoth levels and a picture that exists without an ounce of originality.
WHAT HAPPENS LATER– Meg Ryan
Ryan’s failed attempt to revive the RomCom genre ends up a dreadfully boring two character piece that never finds a balance of comedy, romance, or drama. Uninspired and incompetent,
the film is an affront to moviegoers looking for something romantic and fun. That the work is dedicated to the talented Nora Ephron makes it all the more offensive.
Here are five more films that just missed the top ten. While not complete garbage, these pictures were not good films and held many awful moments-
65- Scott beck & Bryan Woods
BAD THINGS- Stewart Thorndike
CANDY CANE LANE- Reginald Hudlin
THE COVENANT- Guy Ritchie
THE EXORCIST: BELIEVER– David Gordon Green