‘Sometimes I Think About Dying’ Film Review: A Moving Human Drama

In “Sometimes I Think About Dying“, Daisy Ridley’s Fran exists, but she doesn’t feel like her life is going how other human beings seem to live. For Fran, what it means to truly exist is questionable. Adapted from a 2019 short film (one that was based on the play “Killers” by Kevin Armento), Rachel Lambert’s film gives Daisy Ridley the proper role to showcase her impressive talents. To date, Fran is the deepest and most realistic character the actress has inhabited and marks an awakening of this truly fine actress.

The dreary Oregon town where Fran lives feels as if it is actively trying to drain life from itself and all who live there. It is here where we meet Ridley’s Fran, a woman who seems to be alone everywhere she goes. Surrounded by coworkers or at home in her gloomy apartment, Fran’s life is painted with a neutral brush. No day is welcomed, and her work environment is almost as boring and tedious as existing.

Fran’s workday is spent at her computer thinking about death and wandering the office like a ghost, her coworkers rarely acknowledging her presence beyond a nod or a smile or a task that needs done. After a member of her office retires, new hire Robert (Dave Merheje) joins the company. When Robert asks Fran for help with an assignment, it opens the door to communication (or her cautious version of it), leading the two on an evening to see a film together. Robert and Fran are two people who navigate their existence in a polar opposite manner. While Robert’s life seems to be in flux, Fran’s has stopped. Robert wants to experience the pleasures of being alive while Fran wishes she could.

The screenplay (written by Stefanie Abel Horowitz, Katy Wright-Mead, and Kevin Armento) is smart in its design of these two characters. Robert is surprised by Fran’s directness on perfunctory subjects while she seems reluctant to go into depth about her own life by saying, “I’m not that interesting.” When Robert asks if she was ever in love, Fran is frustrated by the question and closes the door on a real moment between them.

“Sometimes I Think About Dying” gives Ridley a chance to act with her expressive face, a canvas she uses to frame Fran’s anxieties. There is more going on inside her head, but nothing is telegraphed in her wonderfully natural and controlled performance.

Dave Merheje (a standup comedian) matches Ridley with his character’s sweetness. Robert reveals his own baggage and Merheje brings off his awkwardness and desire for connection extremely well.

The core of the film lies in Fran’s inability to see herself as an appealing person. This self-defeating mindset colors her vision of the world, forcing it to be a place where she does not want to try.

Director Lambert and her cinematographer Dustin Lane pull off the visual representations of Fran’s drab outlook and defeatist subconscious through odd framing and oblique imagery. The off-color look of the film has purpose; used in just the right ways to where the design compliments the character rather than becoming overly symbolic.

One of the biggest delights is the beautiful score from Dabney Morris. Inside a film where the main character wallows in the bleak, Morris created bright and fanciful compositions that may hint at the happier life Fran just might be aspiring to achieve. The score brings the right amount of optimism to the picture and helps the audience to root for Fran to find the light.

“Sometimes I Think About Dying” is an honest and involving character piece. While there are moments when the screenplay could have gone deeper or perhaps spent more scenes getting to know Fran through a longer run time, Daisy Ridley’s performance tells us all we need to know for the short time we spend with her. Fran desires to understand how to be (as Paul Schrader wrote in “Taxi Driver”), “A person like other people.” Maybe Robert can help Fran learn to feel, if only she will allow him.

The film doesn’t tie everything into a nice bow. It doesn’t need to. The powerfully moving final shot gives shows hope for the main character. We have been let in as much as Fran needs us to be. Beyond that final image, the rest is none of our business.